What is right?!

What is right?!

This is the very first time, I say this in the blog. I am afraid of the future lies in front of me. I will never be able to trust people whom I used to trust. Probably too much dramas cause this stupid indictment but I feel deep down in my heart that I am just some trained slave to be used in the future. As a slave I have no space for complaining or asking what so ever. All I have to do is listen, study and embrace what comes ahead. Not knowing whether it’ll be a good thing for my future or not. To tell the truth, I am still studying for my Bachelor in Education. It cause me already 4 years and I have two years left. I am blessed the government decide to fund my studies. They gave me quite a handful of money compared to the other students. It is a large sum I think, since it is only for our accommodation and living expenses. But not for an exam fee which we then told to pay with that particular money they gave. Fine, we understand. Then a storm strike. My course was supposed to be continued in the country where the native speakers are, yet suddenly we were told that this batch will not be going since they are lack with money. Still I was happy because we manage to take an exam not equal but suffix to enter the higher education. Yes the same thing happen. I also need to pay for this one. Adding up the amount from the previous exam it was less than RM 1000. So we decided to claim when we found out that the previous batch who went to that country didn’t have to pay.

Then a letter was made. With careful and full of responsibilities we sent it to the higher authority. The wait began. A year later, our junior got the payment. But we? Don’t ask. We cried blood and tears yet everyone said we are not under their concern. “You were shift to another department and you jump a year for the claim to be paid”. Really? I thought a shift wouldn’t make such different. Since they should be holding to previous funds from the old the department. Or should they not? How does the government work? Why would such differences come? Why us? I still remember when we dutched our money to help each other. We were not the smallest batch but the weakest I guess. People can ask us to do anything they want but we never complain. They said we should be grateful that the government helped you. Yes they did. I won’t say that it wasn’t enough. But it is worth it to hurt our feelings like this? We fought with our teachers, they fought among themselves and people never knew how painful it was to have such argument. So then we decided to do this the old fashion way. Parent. We discussed and wrote letter of inquiry and signed by our parent. The letters were almost there when so suddenly the teachers decided to help us without our acknowledgement which resulting in more fights. They want to claim only for the second exam. Which led me to write this.

They said facts has shown that anyone who go against the country will be blacklisted. I wonder why? Not just that a storm of difficulties will happen to us just because we sent a letter of inquiry asking for the current condition of our course, but your whole family will be jeopardised. Are we enemies of the country? We are just the citizen who have right to speak. I will never understand the truth about this country whom never seems to show me what a great country it really is. All I ever heard was the government is taking advantages, the opposition is doing the same. So which part of this country really is good? All I ever know was, once you say no, they will always say no. I felt betrayed. Honestly does it need for such thing to happen? I can never trust the government anymore. I guess I lost my trust in them. But I’m feeling so down because it happen on a cause of money.  No one seems to understand our feelings. They manage to break us apart and I can’t do anything at all. Now I understand why this country is sometime corrupted. Yes I’m not a dean list students who can achieve 4.0 CGPA, I’m not studying doctorate, or architecture or even philosopher. But I am one of the future stems who will colour this country. I am one the future human being who will teach the future generations. And what should I tell them. I am sorry for this long text of mine, but I am so heartbroken with the fact that we the citizen did not have the right that they proclaimed we had.

I have seen so much problems. Some within myself. I just wished that I am brave enough to see the truth until the end. I should have been braver, but now being an adult makes me a coward. I don’t see myself as the old, young me anymore. All I see is someone who talks at the back and lay low, to have a better and quiet life. Which deep in heart tells me that this is wrong.

End.

A Student of a Teaching Institute somewhere in the world.

Peter Pan? That's ME! (Inspired by EXO Peter Pan)

PETER PAN? That's ME!

It was like forever. The very first time he flew into my life. It was definitely a true miracle way... Still I can't seem to forget his words..."I'm coming back. So stay put, just wait!" Every one nick named him as Peter Pan, a guy who never want to grow up. I was the only one who saw for what he meant. I want to see him again. I want him to look at me again, to search for, to miss me and to love me as he always did.

TWENTY YEARS AGO....

"Hyun! Wait! I'm Coming!!!!"

"Yah! I'm not that far! Pallie Waaaaaaaa Han-ah!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

"WAE?" 

"Beorllae!!!!" he screamed at the sight of that small thing.

"Hahahaha.... It is just a baby bug! Come! We're late for class!"

"Arassso... Hyun-ah, why don't you go alone...?"

"Bwoh??!"

"Just kidding!"  A kiss flew to my cheek as he ran away.

All of our classmates were there already. There are a lot of people who assume that we went to that school for fun, but actually we were in HELL! Training to be the best fairy tales protector was more than effort. For Han, I guess it was easy. He was born with such great genes. His mom was Alice and his dad was the great Oz himself. Being a child in such great line wouldn't be hard on him. In fact all boys have the straight great way as they will always be the one who save people and became the main characters. In this class there are only 12 of them Each can take any  tales they want. Everyone want Han to take care the Little Prince as his image suits the story. Yet he is too naughty to be one. I was just hoping that I'll be anywhere Han is.

"Hyun! I know what I want!"

"What? Little Prince?" Asked Kyung-soo who aimed to be the Knight of the Gumiho.

"Nope!" said Han... All eyes were on him. Some were happy, some seems to have no interest, but there were Miho who seems so angry..

"What will you be, Luhan?" Asks Miho.

"Hyun! You're getting smaller because you're destiny to be Tinkerbell right?"

"Hmmm, how do you know?" Asks Yifan who already turned into a frog. Yup who ever turn to be the princess who play crystal ball will be so damn happy when they kiss the helping Frog.

"I just know.. " said Han giggling at the sight of me who each day getting smaller and getting back-pain out of nowhere.

"Han, what you will be is nothing to do with Hyun!" said Amber who transforming into a fighting long-black haired girl. I assume she'll be Mulan, but who knows.

"Yes, you're right. I'm turning into some sort of fairy, but I'm not sure if it's gonna be your favourite Tink" I said ignoring every sentences the other said.

Han might not be a fortuneteller, but he was right. Few days after that, I grew wings on my back and been training to fly. But Han was still the same. He never seems to change into anything. Almost everyone in our class has turned into at least a part of what they should be... But he never shows any changes. While I train my flying ability, a new girl Tia came. They say she's going to turn into a Wendy. Since that day Han never shows up to school. All he did was left me and that Tia each a letter. I turned fully into a Tinkerbell and I flew to Neverland without a Peter Pan, as the senior Peter Pan is still doing great. They say the switch happens once in every 1000 years. I'm probably the 99th Tinkerbell. We died eventually when no children believe in us, and when someone find us back, we'll revived but in other form. If you asks me, I do remember each of the other Tinkerbell. All of them fall for Peter, but all of the Peter Pan never look at us as we hoped for. Some of the old Tinks used to congratulate me, when they saw Han with me... But why?

Year 2013...This very day.

As I was doing my own work as the dusty-flying Tinkerbell, one of the lost boy call me and said they heard a song. A group of grown children calling themselves as EXO sang the song. He sent me the song. But I rather took more time to realised what was happening. 12 boys were put in the same big group. They were separate at first but now who knows. The lost boy sent me their profile as he kept on saying that it is essential for me to know these boys. The very first I saw all 12 of them was when the very same lost boy called them to greet me. It was when I wish that I'd should have not meet them. 

All 12 of them were all in my class twenty years ago. The record did said some of them were discharged form the task as they did so poorly and sent to live as normal beings. But I never knew that all 12 of them were cut. Especially Han, whom I thought is still at the school learning how to be a fairy tale protector...

I miss....

It's been a while peeps... Miss me? I bet no. hihihi. How's life? It's March 2013 already and I am perfectly fine with some additional fatties here and there. hihi. It's hard to stay healthy. Trying not that hard though.
Today, I suddenly miss some people. 1st would be my Grandparent. I didn't have a lot of time with my grandma while she was here, but I know she was such a great woman, as she been able to raise my dad and his other 7 siblings. But I could tell you the truth, I really miss my grandpa. He was definitely the best idol I've ever love. Some say their parent re their most motivated reason, but for me it is truly my grandpa. He was the one who guided me when everything before me collapse. He stayed always next to me when I was in such deep sadness. I'm not saying that my parent neglected me, because they never did it. They do love me and I feel so blessed to have them as my parent, it's just that I rarely show this weak vulnerable side of me in front of them. But my grandpa always saw that. I truly miss him today. Atuk I still remember your face but your voice klingt so weird to me now... I must have mess it up with toktan, since the two of you are cousin. I still remember your scent. Dad smell just like you, and it makes me realised that dad is just like you.
(Atuk, along takut. Along rasa along tak jadi cucu yang macam atuk nak, along takut, along tak jumpa atuk nanti kat sana. Maafkan along sbb tak jadi sama macam yang atuk nak. Along rindu kat atuk sangat-sangat, Tok tan ngan Tok ne, sihat. Along janji along akan jaga mereka baik-baik. Mak ngan engku jugak. Atuk along tawu ape yang along tulis nie pelik, tapi kalu Allah benarkan, along nak jumpa atuk dulu sebelum engku ngan mak. Atuk mesti marah kalu along cakap macam ni dulu...)
I wrote them in Malay coz i felt heavier to write in English. Tears are pouring like rain... I called my mom just twenty minutes before I started this post.
2nd is Im Yoon Taek. Ulala Session's Leader who died fighting cancer. I'd say only that.
Sometimes people do ask me, when are you ever going to have a boyfriend. I don't know. I'm waiting.
To end this post I'm gonna proposed for you guys to hear an song from TVXQ.. The old five members TVXQ. The song is I'll be there. It's a good song.

Bunkface, KPOP, RESPECT

It's too weird for me to say this out loud. What is wrong with having different taste in music? In the old days, people tend to say having to be differ is good. Unsupporting doesn't mean hate right? So much things have cause chaos and yet people nowdays tend to look over the right things. Whether you love M-POP, J-POP or K-POP it is up to you. I respect each of your choice. So the big question is now, where is your respect towards other?
Like this local Band. Bunkface. Seriously? I WAS a fan to tell you the truth. I still remember some of their old songs, but now it has turn to ashes. They are disrecpectful towards other is just bewildered. Why do you need to talk about the things that you're not even sure? Those Idols that we Kpoppers love are equally work hard when it comes to music. They practice and practice. Same as Bunkface. You practice your chords, so they also practice dancing and singing simultaneously.
If they can learn to sing in Malay just to show how respectful they are towards their fans, I think it is not wrong if you do the same towards other. So if you don't like such music, would you just blurt it out without considering how much effort they have give? If I were you, I'd said the other way. Mybe I'm not working hard enough, or maybe my music is too different or maybe I didn't show much passion.. I will work harder.  A musician is supposed to be open minded about other. They don't go around and talk bullshit about another people's hardwork. What should be done is to see, why can't you be as good as them, what is the reason for your music to unsupported by your own people? Just take a sip and think for awhile... I still remember watching some local music competition, I didn't bother to listen because I can hear properly what they were singing. I love music, no matter which country I try to listen and digest the good work, but if you scream or mumble the words how you expect listeners to like your music. Saying that KPOP artist do plastic surgery. Yes it is wrong. But not every single KPOP singers do it. Only some. How about local artist? The muslims coloured their hair to look what? The muslimah wears unappropriate outfit, again for what? I hate to say this but don't talk as if you are the only one that is right. Yes they come here and take you money, so do you think we paid their plane tickets too? No! What we pay only for the numbers of songs they sang and danced. It is the same with local going international. Soon if Malaysian music goes globally, won't this happen to us too? Don't you think that the foreigners will ask you to NOT perform in their country because they only supported their local bands? Think about it wisely. By letting them coming also opens a way for us to go in theirs. Pop Shuvit manage to go to Japan, Mizz Nina too. Even Shila Hamzah is appreciated by others but do they go around and talk bad things about other? NO! Don't you excuses like our local bands are dying and ect.
I really hope that thing will get better, trust me this KPOP wave will end soon. They won't be hurting you, but if don't find ways to be better, than no matter which wave from which country come, you will still be unsupported.

Me from another planet.

In this planet that I'm staying is so different than what used to be in mine. Here people can do whatever they want, can say whatever they think it's right. I'm totally an alien, come so different and it feels so bad that I want to end this journey. I wish that I can live in my own beloved planet where everyone knows each other, accept each other and lives by their own principle but still respect others. But no, here I need let everyone do what they want, and I can only whisper to myself that it is wrong. I can't let it out loud because it will definitely be a talking trash in the future. I'm learning to teach their future generations about what right and wrong, yet they doesn't seem to care about what right or wrong. All that matters to them is that they get what they want regardless which way. I wish that my mom told me about this world. I'm so afraid of staying in it now. I want to go out of it, so that I can be safe and confident again to live with my head held high. They will say no whatever I do, and will laugh and makes jokes afterwards. Do they really need to see the aftermath before they can choose to do right stead of wrong?
I personally hate this world. I hate it so much for causing me to feel so bad about myself.

To the future Wan Nor Izzati Bt Wan Mohd Bashar,

How's life? Indah tak dunia kau skang? me? tahun 2012 ni bnyk yg cantik sbenarnye, tp bnyk jugak yang perit. kau pasti tahu ape yg terjadi pada tahun tu, kehilangan teman seperjuangan, ketemuan rakan seperjuangan yang baru, pengalaman pengembaraan yang menarik, mencabar, juga indah. aku boleh katakan tahun tu bnyk yg ak harap kau ingat. aku tak tahu sama ada tyme ko bce nie ko ingat lg atau tak tp ak arap ungkapan "I love You" yg ko slalu ucapkan b4 end kan call ngan parent ko, still ko wat. Adik2 camne? mesti angah dah ade anak kan kekekeke... uda da kawen lom? Una masok U mana, ambek jurusan ape? Is? dpt U mana? or dye stay nak dok ngan mak ngan engku? Ko da anta mak ngan engku g Haji kan? ingat ape target ko dulu kan? Van pe citer? arap2 ape yg ko jnji tu dpt capai, InsyaAllah. psl personal life ak x reti nk agak... so nnti pndi2 laaaa...
Mengajar kat mane skang? arap2 skolah tu menjadi satu cabang kehidupan yang erat tok ko. Tok Tan ngan Tok Ne mesti dengan mak ngan engku kan, da jd Haji ngan Hajjah kan? Zati, kau regret tak ape yg ko buat slame nie? ade tak ko rase nak patah balik n marah kat ak yg mungkin akan wat something wrong esok luse nie? arap2 x. Ak doa agar keputusan ak nie betul.
Oh lupe! Ko da kawen lom? anak da bape? Husband name ape? kekeke~ ko still dgr lag Korea g? ak bet kalu ko ade anak comfrim 3 bhs ibunda! Malay, Deutsch ngan Hangul! English jd 2nd language! Zati, ko kene kuat. Kalu ak leh, ko mesti boleh 100 kali ganda, sbb ak yg tahun 2012 ni tak matang mcm ko yg masa skang nie. haaa kontek g x ngan kesebelasan utama? F.H, F.Z, F.A ngan F.I pe cite skang? arap2 dowg sehat sejahtera... Prinsip ko berubah x? doa ak agar mereka still same. Zati walau ape pun yg jd nnti, ak akan ttp xkan regret pe yg ko ngan ak da putuskan. right? Life is once, hanya Allah yang tahu baik buruk pengakhirannya, cuma satu je ak mntk, kuatkan lagi keyakinan ko terhadap-Nya, jgn jd cm ak dulu kayh.
♥ 22y/o Izzati Bashar

It's like I'm never gonna believe in love...

Everyday I met new people, learn new things and cried for almost of old memories. But it never occurs to me that I could never share any of these great feelings with anyone. I have great friends yet I still wish I have someone who could just tell me that whatever I do will always be supported by him. That he will always catch me when I fall, he will always lend me his shoulder to cry on and will always be the one who asks me to stop crying before I stop myself. I never want to feel more than being a girl who has someone as strong as a superhero, just someone who can be stronger than me. My new thoughts come just as I never think about it. I'll be skinnier when I have someone to show that I can get skinnier, coz I will only have to look beautiful in front of him. Someone that would say, this is me. Getting healthier is what I'm gonna do. I will quit my beloved Coke, Candies, and other Junk Foods. Healthy is my priority and I will keep my promise. But getting skinnier is the least that I want to do. Not once in my life I ever seen myself as skinny and beautiful like people would expect me to be. But still they want only the best for me. I get it. Thank you for the reminder, I will try my best.
I want to believe that I can at least once, once in this one life have someone that really need me, miss me and love only me as who I am. I know, I used to say that I don't want anyone yet, but I can never be true to what I'm saying because I want it to be the other way. Just someone to love me the exact me. This Wan Nor Izzati Bt Wan Mohd Bashar. The fat tall girl with small mouth. Yet I know I will see someone and then I suddenly fall for him. It happens more than once and sometimes I wish my standard could be lowered. I can never lie about myself. I'm too emotional sometimes I wish I could just bury all of those feelings and fill myself with only happiness and love from my family and friends. But it never happen that way. Maybe I think too much that I'd cried in the middle of the night thinking that I can never let these weird feelings go. After a year I realized something. Although I tell the world I'm in love with someone, the truth is that I can never love that new person more than I love my Jaesoon-oppa(Not JOKER). I called him that so that he can never know nor realized that I'm still into him. It has been what 6 years since I met him. The one that I always go to when I'm in pain but now no more. He is no longer in the same time with me. Already done with his studies, now working hard to find good job. I wish you all the best, oppa! I never call him oppa in the first place. I really pray that when he really got nowhere to go, he will come to me and tells me his problem. I'll be his silent healer or whatever he asks me as long as I can help him. That should be enough to make both of us happy I guess. I bet on his wedding day, I'll be there to wish me happiness for as long as he live. I hope he do remember me when that time come.
It has been awhile, I rarely talk nor chat with him. I feel so shy and too timid to even open his FB profile. Hiding myself is the best, because I think my heart could burst whenever I saw that he's onlline. Someone save me please! Just like a fool my heart beat like a bullet train hitting a concrete wall. That's why when I listen to any Korean songs these days I'd smile like an idiot, thinking that the lyrics hit me perfectly!

Just like that I hide myself. It's at the end now. Thank you for reading. Help me please.

What a great life this is....

Who am I? A 22 years old human being who is so immature that her younger friends make fun of her, constantly. Well yeah I love myself this way. I love to sing on the road humming to my favourite Kpop songs, move here and there, sometimes even pull my trousers up.. So? Yup I'm a person who do things later than everyone... God I'm complaining again... In this perfect FEVER condition, listening to One Direction's songs somehow cured me. I know, I'm FYI WEIRD. No care at all people. Seriously, I don't want to care anymore. I'm not gonna care what you think and what you feel, cause accept it, I'm rude, hideous, big, fat human. My tounge slips every here and there, not like yours that can talk the talk all day long. I'm not Allah's good girl at all, unlike you all that are so perfect that people believe you. I'm not clean at all, seriously... I'm not... I wear the same clothes every three days.. I wear less make up than a chimpanzi and I admit.. I'm a sinner. But you know what, I know I'm a sinner and kept on thinking how to repent myself. I am not that good with people who can persuade and make people go their ways, Hell no! I got my own way. Yeah my life principle are crap.. rubbish. But then it is mine and I will make it happy and lovely. When I'm pissed off that ugly side of me came out.. How embarassing really, cause none of you has such side. Only me. I am the only most imperfect (although I can walk and talk properly) human being on earth. Got it, Noted it. I'm incapable of getting loved by someone doesn't make me weak. I got my Mom, Dad, Siblings and others.. I don't need these so called poker face. Do it everyday and you'll end up being a POKER yourself. And if you read this, keep it shut to yourself, cause if this really meant for you, you should know that you are that person. You know why I'm like this, and you know that you are the best person alive. But I'm not your people. Our chances to be together are 1 in a million, but just so you know... I hate your so beautiful, incredible attitude. I am surely a kid in an elephant body, but you... hmmm think about it yourself. 

An elephant, a dragon, a whale or what so other enormous animal there are, and that is me. And I'm proud to be compared to them cause God made them big. Surely there's a reason for everything.

I'm better without you.

I wrote it as my status minutes ago...
"The time goes on... Our life goes on as well... But the sad thing is it wouldn't be as great as I thought when I kept on thinking about letting you go, until I found out that I am much better without you. Thank you and Good luck in your life! Cause my life is already great.... without you."

Still wondering if it is the truth that my heart says. Enough with this feeling.

Here is one of my favourite song from 1D...

It is what I feel anyway.... though that part is not right... You don't want me, it is okay. Cause I don't want you as well, just be good to her and don't let her tears come out like you did to me. I'm done hating you.

 

Taken 

Now that you can't have me
You suddenly want me
Now that i'm with somebody else
You tell me you love me
I slept on your doorstep
Begging for one chance
Now that I finally moved on
You say that you've missed me all along

Who do you think you are
Who do you think I am
You only loved to see me breaking
You only want me cause I'm taken
You don't really want my heart
No, you just like to know you can
Still be the one who gets it breaking
You only want me when i'm taken

You're messing with my head
Girl that's what you do best
Saying there's nothing you won't do
To get me to say it
You're impossible to resist
But I wouldn't bet your heart on it
It's like i'm finally awake
And you're just a beautiful mistake


Who do you think you are
Who do you think I am
You only loved to see me breaking
You only want me cause I'm taken
You don't really want my heart
No, you just like to know you can
Still be the one who gets it breaking
You only want me when i'm taken

Thank you for showing me
Who you are underneath
No, thank you, I don't need
Another heartless misery
You think i'm doing this to make you jealous
And I know that you hate to hear this
But this is not about you anymore

Who do you think you are
Who do you think I am
You only loved to see me breaking
You only want me cause I'm taken
You don't really want my heart
No, you just like to know you can
Still be the one who gets it breaking
You only want me when i'm taken

Now that you can't have me
You suddenly want me

My 200th Post!

200th Post!

I'm being generous today. For my 200th Post, these not so good BG made by me are presented for you guys. Hope you'll like it. Made it 100 percent with 2010 PowerPoint.... so they look a bit shabby here and there. Doing these really bring me to life again. Gonna do more after this. Wait for the rest in the near future kayh!

White Ver.

Grey Ver.

(Star) Black Ver.

(Star) Grey Ver.

B2stRising Black Ver.

B2stRising White Ver.

ShinRamyun Black Star Ver.

B2stRising All Black Ver.

p/s: Haven't done these in almost a year now. Missing all of my works so much. 

The Moon Embracing The Sun

Kim Soohyun - The One and Only You

Prince Lee Hwon, my fav. ajusshi and King Lee Hwon!

Romanzation :

soneul ppodeumyon daheul su itge
geude nege molli gaji maseyo
nugul chatgo innayo
geudeman gidarineun saram
yogie yogi inneunde

nega jikyojul saram
naman barabol saram
jo dareul bomyo meil gidohaeyo
nal saranghaneun ojik han saram

saranghaeyo geude han saram
saranghaeyo geude han saram
nega michil deusi saranghaetdon dan han saram
haneureso biga nerigo dari tteumyon geude olkkayo
ne modeun-gol da gajyogan han saram

geudel chajeul ttekkaji gyesok gorowajwoyo
nega geudemane bichi dwelgeyo

nega jikyojul saram
naman barabol saram
jo dareul bomyo meil gidohaeyo
nal saranghaneun ojik han saram

saranghaeyo geude han saram
saranghaeyo geude han saram
nega michil deusi saranghaetdon dan han saram
haneureso biga nerigo dari tteumyon geude olkkayo
ne modeun-gol da gajyogan han saram

deullinayo geude ne moksori deullinayo
geude sumgyol geude hyanggi da modu geuderonde
we nal mot bwayo

uri saranghaetdon choeumbuto sijakhalleyo
nega geude bichi dwe jugo
nega geude dari dwe jumyon
geutten geude hanbon bol su isseulkkayo

nege hanappunin geude han saram......

Translation :

So I can touch you when I hold out my hand
Please don't go too far away from me
Who are you looking for?
When the person who only waits for you
Is right here, right here

* The person who I should protect
The person who only looks at me
I pray to the moon for that person every day
The one and only person who loves me

** I love you, the one person
I love you, the one person
The only one person that I crazily loved
If the rain falls from the sky and the moon rises, will you come?
The one person who has all of me

Until I find you, keep walking to me
I will be only your light

*  The person who I should protect
The person who only looks at me
I pray to the moon for that person every day
The one and only person who loves me 

**  I love you, the one person
I love you, the one person
The only one person that I crazily loved
If the rain falls from the sky and the moon rises, will you come?
The one person who has all of me 

Can you hear it? Can you hear my voice?
Your breath, your scent - they are all the same
But why can't you see me?

Shall we start from the beginning when we used to love?
If I can be your light and if I become your moon
Then will I be able to see you once?

The one and only person for me.....
 Credits; PopGasa

This song kills me every time I hear it.


The fact that Soohyun-oppa sang this beautifully really touch me. It makes me trigger all the memories of the Great Drama The Moon Embracing The Sun. The casts are amazing! Soohyun-oppa, Han Gain-unnie, Jang Ilwoo-ajusshi and the kids! They really left me with such strong memories. Thank You for such great work Director Kim Do Hoon -shi! I'm gonna remember this Drama for a while. Night Everyone! Enjoy the Lyrics.

Four days had gone by.

I am such a tragic girl. I still want to hear his voice singing the song that he made. I want to be there being in-awkward when I meet him. I reply him every time he posts and it looks so damn stupid. But I want to do all I can just to be there for him. Although I told myself to never look at him as I did before but at least I could just support him in anything he do. He'll be a great person and I'm sure of that. He'll be the best husband and I know his future wife will agree with me. It is just that I wish before he become someone else possession, he would make me as his. Though I have to share him, I want him not ever to share me with anyone. Even if we never meant to be together forever, at least just for a moment in time I know that I was his. I'm such a pathetic being right?
Except that I am still in love with him, still I block him away. It's my final way to forget everything about him. Next time I see him, he will just be someone who is a good dancer and work his ass of to be a celebrity. That is it and I won't look at him as a man as I am now. This sound so perfect with B1A4's song that plays now. 둘만 있으면 (바로 Solo) (feat. 민 of miss A). And so I'm not gonna think about him as what I used to. It is the end. My 2nd one sided-love ends the same way as the 1st one. Thus the conclusion would be... no more falling in love, stead be as expensive as I can. Let no one stops me from being the best. I'm going to change everything and from this day on... 17/3/2012 me, Wan Nor Izzati the daughter of Mr. Wan Mohd Bashar will be a new person who is better and brighter. Enough with heart break.

After two days....

Two long days.

After my heart breaks into pieces, I realized I'm the stupid one. He didn't budge. Yes I'm in a one sided love and I'm the only one who got hurt by my own feelings. Funny. Whatever they say, that feeling is still true. I'm always like this. Being this kills me though. Did you read or is it just me who imagine things.
Never thought that you could thing me as the same thing that I think. Guinea Pig. They are indeed cute but they need cares, love and attentions. 

Give Up

Tell me then....

You "wanted" to give up and as a provocation I said I wanted to join you, then she tells either both of us to give up or only me or only you to.... Got hurt yet I "like" her words... Wondering why... am I too jealous the fact that you have probably chose her... and close your heart to any one else... Or am I just imagining things... Tears fall as if they knew that I'd be in such pain. I look through you again but I see no sign. No answers were given. You told me once there's no one in there yet. But is it true? I told you that I want to be in there, yet a girl as ugly as me could only think about dare not even to dream right? crying my heart loud and you still wouldn't know. I'm 22 now and yet I still got hurt by love like this. the foolish of me. If I think carefully now, I won't ever be yours since there's no way for you to like me like I love you. We're friends I know. Forever it'll be.

Go for it. Put her there. I know now. If you really are going to her, there's only one thing I asked. Change her, make her a better girl so that it wouldn't be impossible for us to meet. Though I wouldn't know when we'll meet but I pray that if we both can touch heaven, we can sit down and talk about everything that had happened. Don't be a too-good-boyfriend. Be the best on, not the coolest. See I told you I should end this. Be happy and never let me feel that I'm making a big mistake now, cause I know you know it's not. I am making the best decision ever and once you read this (if you even read this) I'll be crying out loud for even look at you the way I did for the past year. I am no hot girl who can confidently say it out loud but I know now... I won't have to say it anymore. It is finally close. Forever I guess... Being one of your guinea pig gives me lots of courage and faith though. They were right from the start, dreams aren't mend for me. Feel like quitting up and let go of that one feeling that I have been holding is painful. I won't hate you, cause your not fault. It's me. I'm too damn foolish to think that a girl like me will be love by someone like you. $#i! I'm crying for this foolish feeling. I hate this. I know saying goodbye is the most hurtful word now. Tell your friends to ignore me too so that I won't even think about you anymore. Don't worry I'm still your fan for life. I'm not that stupid to let go that talent of yours. It s still intact only the fact that I won't let myself love you anymore... GOD.  I hate this. 

An untitled one.

An Untitled Song

.My Ninjun.

I was thinking and practicing for a Festival for UM, suddenly it hits me. A bite of words came out and I started to sing more... Not that I'm good at writing it, but it is just basically because of me thinking of him. Wonder if he  wrote that song because of her... Really want to know. Well I know it is sound really typically me, but I'm unable to leave that away. I need to be busier than now, so I'll forget him for sure. Though I really don't want t0o, but it is not in our destiny to be in love... I pray that he'll be a great man, so that I won't be regretting the fact that I like the most. The song that I wrote is basically about my one sided love that I assume wouldn't be the one last love that I wished for. I'll let you guys hear it after I finish writing up my feelings here. I hope you guys can give me bad, worst and building up comment for both song and my bad voice. It is sort of weird that I told anyone bout this kekeke... well you guys are people that I cherished among the other people. I'm left with this one word, B2STiFuL... hope that you guys understand it... Oh well it is the end of my self centered post today.....

Here's the song~ it's in youtube~ kekeke

An Untitled 0ne.

A Love

I'm definitely sure. I'm truly, deeply crazy in love. But I let it go, cause I think he won't ever love me as much as I expect him to. But it is too painful. I told my frineds I'm over him, but he keep on appearing in this mind of mine. No matter if he read this or not. I really want everything to be good for him, but also wanting to know him better. My brain is functioning faster than what it seem. It has always been this way when I decided to stay up late. Due to this condition, I sometimes force myself to stay up late. Wanna know why, so that I can forget everything and be normal again. Iam too stressed that my hairs fall every now and then. I hate the fact that I'm in love but I can't go for it. It has happened before, and now it happens again. Argh! I hate myself for not being able to stay by your side like they do. I just wish that you'll look at me, and give me permission to look only at you.

Just for once. I hope that you'll feel exactly the same. Wish that it's gotta me...

One Direction - Gotta be You...

If just our destiny to see each other in a different way, would this feeling stay the same. Though I know, it would, and probably you would be the one who look at me... A wish is merely a wish I guess...

“ People who challenge themselves are beautiful. You can make it. Fighting ! ” -Yoseob-

My bad.

My result is definitely my bad, the word If won't help me now. I know, I need to be better in giving attention to classes, what to do? Okey no need to scold U'rself that bad, just work harder. Don't give up. Don't let them get u. Be strong, BEAST can fail so many times t0o before they get this good, so be better at getting good. Think how to be better stead of being sad. If U fail, then it's different. at the very least U'r still in the game. Good! That's a good start, stay in the game. don't get too excited and lose all the good times. 

This time, others may be better than U, but soon it'll be U. Don't worry, just work hard. most Important DON'T FORGET WHO CREATE U! Then U'll get better. result are mend to be better, if U get so high, u'd probably forget who U are. Chillax. just work at it better.

SOMEDAY - UKISS

Ttaeron hit ttaeron miss geureon geoji mwo

Naeireun an teullimyeon dwae gojak silsuil ppuninde 

Ttaeron mit, ttaeron wi, ttaeron Number 1 

Mwo ildeung hae bwatja naeryeogal gilbakke eobseul ppuninde 

Eobseumyeon geunyang eomneundaero saneun geoji mwo 

Gajigi jeonen mollatdeon yoksimdeuril ppuninde oh (o) 

Jigeum neo himdeuldaneun geon got noryeokhaetdan jeunggeoil ppuniya 

Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it's alright 

You get some right, you get some wrong 

Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya 

When you fall down, when you get up 

Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya 

Ibyeoriramyeon geunyang geunyeol noha jwo 

Geojitdoen nunmul boyeodo inyeoni anigetji mwo 

Tteonal sarameun tteonaganeun geoji mwo 

Geurae geu yeope isseobwatja eonjengan geuraetgetji oh 

Jigeum neo himdeuldaneun geon 

Got saranghaetdan jeunggeoil ppuniya 

Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it's alright 

You get some right, you get some wrong 

Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya 

When you fall down, when you get up 

Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya 

The past is the past is the past 

Jinan gieogeun ije geuman It's the past 

Oraen sigandongan maeil apeugiman haetdeon 

The Past is the past is the past 

Neoreul itge han naldeurin geor~ 

Everybody wins sometimes 

Everybody knows you lose some 

You get some right, you get some wrong 

Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya 

When you fall down, when you get up 

Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, 

gyeolguk utneun nari wa, 

gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya

-

#Translation:

Sometimes hit, sometimes miss, it’s always like that

Just do it right tomorrow, it’s just a small mistake 

Sometimes bottom, sometimes top, sometimes number 1 

Getting 1st place, you can only go down 

Without it, just live without it 

It’s just greed you have before you win it oh 

Your suffering now is a sign of your hard work 

Everybody knows you tried 

Everybody knows it’s alright 

You get some right, you get some wrong 

Although tiring there will be days to smile 

When you fall down, when you get up 

Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come 

If it’s separation, just let her go 

She might show lying tears, maybe it wasn’t destiny 

People who have to go, just go 

Sure being next to them it might happen oh 

Being tired right now 

It’s just evidence of your love 

Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it’s alright 

You get some right, you get some wrong 

Although tiring there will be days to smile 

When you fall down, when you get up 

Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come 

The past is the past is the past 

Previous memories 

It’s the past 

The long painful days 

The Past is the past is the past 

The days to forget you~ 

Everybody wins sometimes 

Everybody knows you lose some 

You get some right, you get some wrong 

Although tiring there will be days to smile 

When you fall down, when you get up 

Although tiring there will be days to smile, 

Eventually a day to smile will come 

Eventually a day to smile will come

credit : http://koreansplash.blogspot.com

A KPOP Fan's point of view

What to do when u read a bash, harsh, devastating comments about your Idols.

Okay this time I'll explain in a way that everyone will understand.

1. Okay, bila dah terbaca mana2 komen yg menyakitkan hati, jangan terus bash ataupun serang blogger or tukang cerita tu dgn hamukan dan carutan yang tak diperlukan.
2. Jadi mature in time of this, jangan bertindak kebudak-budakan. Ya kita marah sbb dye kutuk Idols kite, tapi itu pilihan dye. Jangan jadi orang yang tak ada pendirian dan maruah. 
3. Kalau ape yang dye tulis tu tak betul, dan kite tawu kebenaranya kita boleh bagitawu penulis tu. Jangan marah2 cakap elok2 tak baik nanti dapat dosa je.
4. Pada yang muslim, ske Kpop ske jugak tapi jangan sampai menidakkan yang halal dan mengiyakan yang haram. Jangan kita nak ikut dowg lak maen kale2 wambut...
5. Pade yang membace jangan la terlalu emosional, tak elok. Kite hanya boleh melindungi rumors dari terus bergerak ke depan. 
6. Pada newborns (KPOP fans yg Baru) jangan overacting. Tak elok dipandang orang. Kalau tak tahu jangan buat2 tahu, research dulu baru bg comment, bukan makihamun org tak tentu pasal. Esp. as a senior let me tell you this, Kpop has been in korea for like forever. so don't get angry and be happy.
7. Pada fans Idols yang mmg betul2 diperkatakan jangan menidakkan dan jangan mengiyakan, kita tak tahu. melainkan kita betul2 tahu baru kita bagitau... wah jd mcm puisi lak! Okayla.... the end.

Some of you might ask why am I talking about. Well it doesn't matter if u don't understand. Just be true to yourself kayh.

He sang 4 songs!

"Okay! We talk!!!"

"What to do!!!!"

Unpredictable! A called came in! The ringtone was his though! Is this like real??! He called me and ask how's my day, and I say it was bad due to my linguistic paper. Then he says to cheer me up, he'll sing a song. He asks me what song I went blur!!! The fact he called me was already weird! we were laughing while he was preparing.... he sang his song!!! It was magical! Love the song so much!!! He'll finish by my birthday, though I asked him that actually. So he asks my B-day! Happy Birthday came out!!! The very first time that I started to tear. He then sang 'Dipintu Syurga" by KRU ft Elite!!!! That was like wow!!! Then he sang another one!!! I ask him bout taht should be me by JB and he sang it too!!! God help me! I am in love with him... and I know it is just on my side but what to do? Wish that I can hug him and thank him for making me happy this way! Thank you dear! Love you! I know you know! Thank you so much!!!

Trouble Maker

        

JS and Hyuna the new unit from Cube came out with a mini album called Troublemaker consists of four songs.

Trouble Maker is completed with all their might and with such crisis was up during the Melon Awards 2011 as they performed a lock-kiss-scene. Though it was said that they did it based for the choreograph done but netizens and fans of both felt bad about it. Well I'm lovin' it!

The two are actually very compatible with each other. The way they do their works and move to the dance inspire me to see more of them. Hyunseung use JS as his name for this album which means Jay Stomp. No need to explain the means but if some of did not know it means a dance involving a rhythmical heavy step. 

My favourite song would be JS's solo song (아무렇지 않니) means "Don't you mind it"

follows are the romanzation + meaning...

-Don't You mind it-

No 너를 다시 본 줄 알았어 모두 다

No neo-reul da-shi bon-jul al-ass-eo mo-du da

Yeah 그대로인데 너만 다시 내 곁에

Yeah geu-dae-ro-in-de neo-man da-shi nae gyeot-e

아무렇지 않듯이 예전처럼 살며시 Yeah

A-mu-reoh-ji anh-deus-i ye-jeon-cheo-reom sal-myeo-shi Yeah

다가와 날 안고서 보고 싶었다고 했어

Da-ga-wa nal an-go-seo bo-go ship-eott-da-go haess-eo

넌 넌 나 없이도 사니

Neon neon na eobs-i-do sa-ni

넌 보고 싶지도 않니

Neon bo-go ship-ji-do anh-ni

날 혹시 마주친대도 아무렇지 않니

Nal hok-shi mi-ju-chin-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

우리 같이 만들었던 추억이 날 또 괴롭혀

U-ri gat-i man-deul-eott-deon chu-eok-i nal ddo goe-rob-hyeo

내가 이렇대도 아무렇지 않니

Nae-ga i-reoh-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

다시 널 안고서 Baby 입맞추고 Baby

Da-shi neol an-go-seo Baby ib-mat-chu-go Baby

Just like we used to do my baby

이렇게 널 안고서

I-reoh-ge neol an-go-seo

다시 말하고 싶어

Da-shi mal-ha-go ship-eo

Oh my baby you know what I mean

Ay JS don’t you know that 이건 그냥 꿈인데

Ay JS don’t you know that i-geon geu-nyang ggum-in-de

Yeah 이 꿈처럼 다시 널 만나고 싶어

Yeah I ggum-cheo-reom da-shi neol man-na-go ship-eo

넌 넌 나 없이도 사니

Neon neon na eobs-i-do sa-ni

넌 보고 싶지도 않니

Neon bo-go ship-ji-do anh-ni

날 혹시 마주친대도 아무렇지 않니

Nal hok-shi ma-ju-chin-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

우리 같이 만들었던 추억이 날 또 괴롭혀

U-ri gat-i man-deul-eott-deon chu-eok-i nal ddo goe-rob-hyeo

내가 이렇대도 아무렇지 않니

Nae-ga i-reoh-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

이미 끝이란 걸 알지만

I-mi ggeut-i-ran geol al-ji-man

yeah yeah yeah yeah

제발 돌아와주길 Baby

Je-bal dol-a-wa-ju-gil Baby

Yeah 아무렇지 않니

Yeah a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

넌 넌 나 없이도 사니

Neon neon na eobs-i-do sa-ni

넌 보고 싶지도 않니

Neon bo-go ship-ji-do anh-ni

날 혹시 마주친대도 아무렇지 않니

Nal hok-shi ma-ju-chin-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

우리 같이 만들었던 추억이 날 또 괴롭혀

U-ri gat-i man-deul-eott-deon chu-eok-i nal ddo goe-rob-hyeo

내가 이렇대도 아무렇지 않니

Nae-ga i-reoh-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

넌 넌 나 없이도 사니

Neon neon na eobs-i-do sa-ni

넌 보고 싶지도 않니

Neon bo-go-ship-ji-do anh-ni

날 혹시 마주친대도 아무렇지 않니

Nal hok-shi ma-ju-chin-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

우리 같이 만들었던 추억이 날 또 괴롭혀

U-ri gat-i man-deul-eott-deon chu-eok-i nal ddo goe-rob-hyeo

내가 이렇대도 아무렇지 않니

Nae-ga i-reoh-dae-do a-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

아무렇지 않니

A-mu-reoh-ji anh-ni

TRANSLATION

No I thought I saw you again, all of you

Yeah Everything is the same, all I need is you next to me

Living together like nothing was wrong Yeah

Come to me, I want to tell you that I missed you as I embrace you.

You, can you live without me

You, don’t you even miss me?

Even if you run into me, don’t you feel anything different?

The memories we made together are taunting me again

Even when I am like this, don’t you mind it?

Embracing you again Baby Kissing you Baby

Just like we used to do my baby

Embracing you like this

I want to tell you this

Oh my baby you know what I mean

Ay JS don’t you know that This is just all a dream

Yeah but I want to see you again like this dream

You, can you live without me

You, don’t you even miss me?

Even if you run into me, don’t you feel anything different?

The memories we made together are taunting me again

Even when I am like this, don’t you mind it?

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Even when I know its already the end

yeah yeah yeah yeah

Please come back to me Baby

Yeah Don’t you mind it?

You, can you live without me

You, don’t you even miss me?

Even if you run into me, don’t you feel anything different?

The memories we made together are taunting me again

Even when I am like this, don’t you mind it?Don’t you mind it? 

You, can you live without me

You, don’t you even miss me?

Even if you run into me, don’t you feel anything different?

The memories we made together are taunting me again

Even when I am like this, don’t you mind it?

credit : princessoftea.wordpress.com