Give Up

Tell me then....

You "wanted" to give up and as a provocation I said I wanted to join you, then she tells either both of us to give up or only me or only you to.... Got hurt yet I "like" her words... Wondering why... am I too jealous the fact that you have probably chose her... and close your heart to any one else... Or am I just imagining things... Tears fall as if they knew that I'd be in such pain. I look through you again but I see no sign. No answers were given. You told me once there's no one in there yet. But is it true? I told you that I want to be in there, yet a girl as ugly as me could only think about dare not even to dream right? crying my heart loud and you still wouldn't know. I'm 22 now and yet I still got hurt by love like this. the foolish of me. If I think carefully now, I won't ever be yours since there's no way for you to like me like I love you. We're friends I know. Forever it'll be.

Go for it. Put her there. I know now. If you really are going to her, there's only one thing I asked. Change her, make her a better girl so that it wouldn't be impossible for us to meet. Though I wouldn't know when we'll meet but I pray that if we both can touch heaven, we can sit down and talk about everything that had happened. Don't be a too-good-boyfriend. Be the best on, not the coolest. See I told you I should end this. Be happy and never let me feel that I'm making a big mistake now, cause I know you know it's not. I am making the best decision ever and once you read this (if you even read this) I'll be crying out loud for even look at you the way I did for the past year. I am no hot girl who can confidently say it out loud but I know now... I won't have to say it anymore. It is finally close. Forever I guess... Being one of your guinea pig gives me lots of courage and faith though. They were right from the start, dreams aren't mend for me. Feel like quitting up and let go of that one feeling that I have been holding is painful. I won't hate you, cause your not fault. It's me. I'm too damn foolish to think that a girl like me will be love by someone like you. $#i! I'm crying for this foolish feeling. I hate this. I know saying goodbye is the most hurtful word now. Tell your friends to ignore me too so that I won't even think about you anymore. Don't worry I'm still your fan for life. I'm not that stupid to let go that talent of yours. It s still intact only the fact that I won't let myself love you anymore... GOD.  I hate this.