As Our Love Advance

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Lightless till it comes

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Saturday, September 22, 2012

It's like I'm never gonna believe in love...

Everyday I met new people, learn new things and cried for almost of old memories. But it never occurs to me that I could never share any of these great feelings with anyone. I have great friends yet I still wish I have someone who could just tell me that whatever I do will always be supported by him. That he will always catch me when I fall, he will always lend me his shoulder to cry on and will always be the one who asks me to stop crying before I stop myself. I never want to feel more than being a girl who has someone as strong as a superhero, just someone who can be stronger than me. My new thoughts come just as I never think about it. I'll be skinnier when I have someone to show that I can get skinnier, coz I will only have to look beautiful in front of him. Someone that would say, this is me. Getting healthier is what I'm gonna do. I will quit my beloved Coke, Candies, and other Junk Foods. Healthy is my priority and I will keep my promise. But getting skinnier is the least that I want to do. Not once in my life I ever seen myself as skinny and beautiful like people would expect me to be. But still they want only the best for me. I get it. Thank you for the reminder, I will try my best.
I want to believe that I can at least once, once in this one life have someone that really need me, miss me and love only me as who I am. I know, I used to say that I don't want anyone yet, but I can never be true to what I'm saying because I want it to be the other way. Just someone to love me the exact me. This Wan Nor Izzati Bt Wan Mohd Bashar. The fat tall girl with small mouth. Yet I know I will see someone and then I suddenly fall for him. It happens more than once and sometimes I wish my standard could be lowered. I can never lie about myself. I'm too emotional sometimes I wish I could just bury all of those feelings and fill myself with only happiness and love from my family and friends. But it never happen that way. Maybe I think too much that I'd cried in the middle of the night thinking that I can never let these weird feelings go. After a year I realized something. Although I tell the world I'm in love with someone, the truth is that I can never love that new person more than I love my Jaesoon-oppa(Not JOKER). I called him that so that he can never know nor realized that I'm still into him. It has been what 6 years since I met him. The one that I always go to when I'm in pain but now no more. He is no longer in the same time with me. Already done with his studies, now working hard to find good job. I wish you all the best, oppa! I never call him oppa in the first place. I really pray that when he really got nowhere to go, he will come to me and tells me his problem. I'll be his silent healer or whatever he asks me as long as I can help him. That should be enough to make both of us happy I guess. I bet on his wedding day, I'll be there to wish me happiness for as long as he live. I hope he do remember me when that time come.
It has been awhile, I rarely talk nor chat with him. I feel so shy and too timid to even open his FB profile. Hiding myself is the best, because I think my heart could burst whenever I saw that he's onlline. Someone save me please! Just like a fool my heart beat like a bullet train hitting a concrete wall. That's why when I listen to any Korean songs these days I'd smile like an idiot, thinking that the lyrics hit me perfectly!

Just like that I hide myself. It's at the end now. Thank you for reading. Help me please.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Hyunseung lost his father.

As written, Jang Hyunseung Beast Lead Vocal lost his father yesterday (200912). His father had a heart attack causing the whole family in shock. The always fine healthy Father. I never thought how much pain it could cause to Hyunseung but I know, he is strong. Jang Hyunseung-shi! You are a fine good man! Stay strong as we B2uty are always next to you. I cried a river yesterday, yet I still feel bad for him.

Thus, it is

imymemine (101) BEAST (83) Lyrics (60) KPOP (49) Lights Go On Again (7) A Pink (6) yoseob (5) BTOB (2) 17 (1) BTS fanfic (1) Fanfic (1) Wallpaper (1)


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