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Saturday, September 28, 2013

What is right?!

What is right?!

This is the very first time, I say this in the blog. I am afraid of the future lies in front of me. I will never be able to trust people whom I used to trust. Probably too much dramas cause this stupid indictment but I feel deep down in my heart that I am just some trained slave to be used in the future. As a slave I have no space for complaining or asking what so ever. All I have to do is listen, study and embrace what comes ahead. Not knowing whether it’ll be a good thing for my future or not. To tell the truth, I am still studying for my Bachelor in Education. It cause me already 4 years and I have two years left. I am blessed the government decide to fund my studies. They gave me quite a handful of money compared to the other students. It is a large sum I think, since it is only for our accommodation and living expenses. But not for an exam fee which we then told to pay with that particular money they gave. Fine, we understand. Then a storm strike. My course was supposed to be continued in the country where the native speakers are, yet suddenly we were told that this batch will not be going since they are lack with money. Still I was happy because we manage to take an exam not equal but suffix to enter the higher education. Yes the same thing happen. I also need to pay for this one. Adding up the amount from the previous exam it was less than RM 1000. So we decided to claim when we found out that the previous batch who went to that country didn’t have to pay.
Then a letter was made. With careful and full of responsibilities we sent it to the higher authority. The wait began. A year later, our junior got the payment. But we? Don’t ask. We cried blood and tears yet everyone said we are not under their concern. “You were shift to another department and you jump a year for the claim to be paid”. Really? I thought a shift wouldn’t make such different. Since they should be holding to previous funds from the old the department. Or should they not? How does the government work? Why would such differences come? Why us? I still remember when we dutched our money to help each other. We were not the smallest batch but the weakest I guess. People can ask us to do anything they want but we never complain. They said we should be grateful that the government helped you. Yes they did. I won’t say that it wasn’t enough. But it is worth it to hurt our feelings like this? We fought with our teachers, they fought among themselves and people never knew how painful it was to have such argument. So then we decided to do this the old fashion way. Parent. We discussed and wrote letter of inquiry and signed by our parent. The letters were almost there when so suddenly the teachers decided to help us without our acknowledgement which resulting in more fights. They want to claim only for the second exam. Which led me to write this.
They said facts has shown that anyone who go against the country will be blacklisted. I wonder why? Not just that a storm of difficulties will happen to us just because we sent a letter of inquiry asking for the current condition of our course, but your whole family will be jeopardised. Are we enemies of the country? We are just the citizen who have right to speak. I will never understand the truth about this country whom never seems to show me what a great country it really is. All I ever heard was the government is taking advantages, the opposition is doing the same. So which part of this country really is good? All I ever know was, once you say no, they will always say no. I felt betrayed. Honestly does it need for such thing to happen? I can never trust the government anymore. I guess I lost my trust in them. But I’m feeling so down because it happen on a cause of money.  No one seems to understand our feelings. They manage to break us apart and I can’t do anything at all. Now I understand why this country is sometime corrupted. Yes I’m not a dean list students who can achieve 4.0 CGPA, I’m not studying doctorate, or architecture or even philosopher. But I am one of the future stems who will colour this country. I am one the future human being who will teach the future generations. And what should I tell them. I am sorry for this long text of mine, but I am so heartbroken with the fact that we the citizen did not have the right that they proclaimed we had.
I have seen so much problems. Some within myself. I just wished that I am brave enough to see the truth until the end. I should have been braver, but now being an adult makes me a coward. I don’t see myself as the old, young me anymore. All I see is someone who talks at the back and lay low, to have a better and quiet life. Which deep in heart tells me that this is wrong.
A Student of a Teaching Institute somewhere in the world.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Peter Pan? That's ME! (Inspired by EXO Peter Pan)

It was like forever. The very first time he flew into my life. It was definitely a true miracle way... Still I can't seem to forget his words..."I'm coming back. So stay put, just wait!" Every one nick named him as Peter Pan, a guy who never want to grow up. I was the only one who saw for what he meant. I want to see him again. I want him to look at me again, to search for, to miss me and to love me as he always did.


"Hyun! Wait! I'm Coming!!!!"
"Yah! I'm not that far! Pallie Waaaaaaaa Han-ah!"
"Beorllae!!!!" he screamed at the sight of that small thing.
"Hahahaha.... It is just a baby bug! Come! We're late for class!"
"Arassso... Hyun-ah, why don't you go alone...?"
"Just kidding!"  A kiss flew to my cheek as he ran away.

All of our classmates were there already. There are a lot of people who assume that we went to that school for fun, but actually we were in HELL! Training to be the best fairy tales protector was more than effort. For Han, I guess it was easy. He was born with such great genes. His mom was Alice and his dad was the great Oz himself. Being a child in such great line wouldn't be hard on him. In fact all boys have the straight great way as they will always be the one who save people and became the main characters. In this class there are only 12 of them Each can take any  tales they want. Everyone want Han to take care the Little Prince as his image suits the story. Yet he is too naughty to be one. I was just hoping that I'll be anywhere Han is.
"Hyun! I know what I want!"
"What? Little Prince?" Asked Kyung-soo who aimed to be the Knight of the Gumiho.
"Nope!" said Han... All eyes were on him. Some were happy, some seems to have no interest, but there were Miho who seems so angry..
"What will you be, Luhan?" Asks Miho.
"Hyun! You're getting smaller because you're destiny to be Tinkerbell right?"
"Hmmm, how do you know?" Asks Yifan who already turned into a frog. Yup who ever turn to be the princess who play crystal ball will be so damn happy when they kiss the helping Frog.
"I just know.. " said Han giggling at the sight of me who each day getting smaller and getting back-pain out of nowhere.
"Han, what you will be is nothing to do with Hyun!" said Amber who transforming into a fighting long-black haired girl. I assume she'll be Mulan, but who knows.
"Yes, you're right. I'm turning into some sort of fairy, but I'm not sure if it's gonna be your favourite Tink" I said ignoring every sentences the other said.

Han might not be a fortuneteller, but he was right. Few days after that, I grew wings on my back and been training to fly. But Han was still the same. He never seems to change into anything. Almost everyone in our class has turned into at least a part of what they should be... But he never shows any changes. While I train my flying ability, a new girl Tia came. They say she's going to turn into a Wendy. Since that day Han never shows up to school. All he did was left me and that Tia each a letter. I turned fully into a Tinkerbell and I flew to Neverland without a Peter Pan, as the senior Peter Pan is still doing great. They say the switch happens once in every 1000 years. I'm probably the 99th Tinkerbell. We died eventually when no children believe in us, and when someone find us back, we'll revived but in other form. If you asks me, I do remember each of the other Tinkerbell. All of them fall for Peter, but all of the Peter Pan never look at us as we hoped for. Some of the old Tinks used to congratulate me, when they saw Han with me... But why?

Year 2013...This very day.

As I was doing my own work as the dusty-flying Tinkerbell, one of the lost boy call me and said they heard a song. A group of grown children calling themselves as EXO sang the song. He sent me the song. But I rather took more time to realised what was happening. 12 boys were put in the same big group. They were separate at first but now who knows. The lost boy sent me their profile as he kept on saying that it is essential for me to know these boys. The very first I saw all 12 of them was when the very same lost boy called them to greet me. It was when I wish that I'd should have not meet them. 
All 12 of them were all in my class twenty years ago. The record did said some of them were discharged form the task as they did so poorly and sent to live as normal beings. But I never knew that all 12 of them were cut. Especially Han, whom I thought is still at the school learning how to be a fairy tale protector...

Thus, it is

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