I am lack with courage

I am lack with Courage

It was so important for me to stand strong. I guess my way to look dependable make me feel so tired. But I want to be there when I should be there for them no matter when for these two last year. The thing is courage. I tend to get emotional and make things more difficult. Thus my courage to stand strong is getting weaker than ever. I used to despised them so much before, but now I guess that feeling is turn into something call love. I care so much that I feel responsible for everything they might done. Maybe it is too drastic to call them my soul-mates but these friends are definitely in that category. I can say, do and act anything in front of them and they will accept and critised me for that. It is all that I need as the oldest one. I might not be the most matured one in this group, but still I can be the most dependable one, right? For me to continue to be one, I always ask for their opinions. They never realised it actually. Only by being something different will provoke them to show me their true feelings. That's why I am so grateful to them. Allah is the only One I can turn to, to help me, give me strength and ideas to be sure of myself.