I hate U~ Need to Run Away Now~

Oppa I need U to be with Me now~ T_T

I'm having headache now, due to lack of food n rest I guess~ heheee~ 

But U know what my precious, I'm in despair~ Why can't say it that I really hate it when people say something bout my life? Are they feeling that happy when they manage to change someone? Whether I sleep in the class, didn't wash myself more than once, or even didn't sort my things in order, it's my life isn't it? Do they really need to say it in front of the other superior people? Oh GOD~ crying again~ I'm afraid that I might be the old Joit again~ the one that stop her friendship with her friends coz her friends are actually making fool of her during classes... NO I hate that girl! I hate that Joit, coz she is a very selfish girl who only care for her feeling instead of others. 

I used to be that sick Joit who will leave her friends and find new one, when any of this happens. My KMPP's friends know this sick mad girl very well~ She will do what ever it takes to make her current friends hate her... but what to do, coz she really hates it when those things happen. As far as she knows, she tried to be like others but she can't possibly do what they want~ Junhyung-oppa~ Who love this fangirl of yours? Who will never back-stabbed her? Who will know how she really is? Who will stay with her? Who will never make fun of her? 

Is it because this fangirl of yours always do what people said that she end up hurting herself? What to do? Junhyung-oppa~ I am seriously scared, scared of myself, how will I stay calm when things go this hideous way? With lots of thing happening, I couldn't possibly stay the same, could I? Or is it because I am also a sarcastic person who never think about others? Oppa, I'm crying though I tried to hide it, but it can't be hide for long, could it? Do I have any other choice? Can I not think and keep on hurting myself this way? 

I hate it Oppa, I want them to know that! I'm getting tired of all this. I need to let myself regain the consciousness of being the ME, the one who will be the FOLLOWER. Oppa, My Head hurts... I tell U next time then!