X NAK!!!

what ever that might happen after this is already not in my concerns. you can say, do or even die by yourself. i don't even have a slightest thought of thinking about it. you are just no longer a friend since they say that friends are people who would never put you down. friends are people who understand and care of what you might felt, it is no longer would effect me. for those who might think that they are actually innocent, well you might be wrong. i might be so happy yet deep in this very fat-filled heart it might get as ugly as it could. i don't want any thing to do with your life, your so called life. my life is well enough for me to enjoy, and nothing you can do about it. and if you try to bug into my life again, i'll definitely will destroy yours. and yes it would be involving your boyfriend and you family, esp. your mother. i wonder what she might say when she knows everything that you'd hide from her. i can do that in a split second. so stop bug into my life since i don't bug into yours...BITCH, Just Take Yourself To HELL if you ever bug into my life again!!!

when people laugh i cried...

i dunno whether what i'm about to say are going to change anything or perhaps even hurt anyone cuz honestly i dun care anymore whether some one is going to get hurt or not. no one cares, so why do i have to?

anyway, these days makes me realized that no one actually truly honest and no one is really have the heart to be one. sumtimes i wished that i'd never knew these people. but the reality is i knew. and that is what we called as destiny. i accepted it with a very welcoming, understanding heart, but you see when they started to stab your back then you really realized that they never respect for who you really are. they only know how to make jokes but those jokes are just pathetic jokes! even standard one kid knows that... what fat is ugly? hey are you an idiot? if you feel that fat is ugly then speak to yourself man! i love myself, and my other friends told me that being big are just me being me! i dun hate thin people though cuz all of my siblings, all 4 of them are thin! but you see being big means i have the confidence to be different! at least i dun wear small attire that would really look ugly on me! i know my place, and i have my own taste. they told me not to bothered their life then why are they bothering mine? listening to kpop is problem for them? i finished every work that i was supposed to, and even i'd slept in the class well at least i'm still at a good marks. i dun think my parent are disappointed with me. if they think that they are so great! do tell me, do your parent know what you do behind them? i dun think so! see i'm bothering your life since you bothered mine! wanna know sumthin my parent both knows what i do infront and also what did i do behind them. and let me tell you dis! i'm proud to call myself a daddy's and mommy's girl! they both love me! and i dun need to 'kipas2' anyone to be their favourite 'child' excused moi! i dun have to be that desperate, and you know what, i dun need any elder brother or sister to have my life the way i want it! i already have people such as my oneesan to give me a full support as a big sister for me! please dun be so sleazy biatch! when you know the true colors of the people surround you, then you realised that it is too late kayh!!! ONE MORE THING BIACTH2 i dun think we'll ever be close friends cuz EVEN if i am forced to, I'll say SORRY. they are absolutely never gonna be on my list!!! SORRY BIATCH!!!

UKIZS are coming!! And I am waiting!!!

A funny yet disaster day...

10.00am: went to TS to survey for UKIZS fanmeeting outfit.
11.00am: bought a very nice cardigan *it is in PINK*
12.05pm: pays for the VIP ticket, it was great!!
2.47pm: managed to get on that KTM train, one way to seremban
3.50pm: arrived in seremban and got nag because of waiting at the wrong spot.
3.55pm-6.56pm: got in the car and start to be nag by lots and lots of thing...
7.00pm: baking cookies started, got caught doing the wrong way of baking..got nag again and again, till the nagger was tired, got piss oft, cried, although it is over food... so sad!!!!
1.00am: baking hour finally finish, online, memorizing 'the story'.
now am: sleeping as soundless as a tiger...ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzZZZ

Getting excited while waiting....

need to calm myself, i have it in my hand, but the only thing that is wrong is that i might get scold my ...... . nothing much to say just that i'm preparing myself to confront the one this time...

Saye Nak Kam0o Taw Bende Nie... Walo Saye Taw Kam0o Akan Pike Saye Nie Emo....Sekali Lagi Saye nAk Kam0o, tP bkN Kam0o yG DulU Tp yG BaRU....

Bende nie dah lame ader kat dlm simpanan kite...

Following last year's , it's another sad love song this summer. The song, destined to be popular, has been completed, and from the 5's vocals, you can hear their thoughts... thinking of their most important "You".

-- is a sad love song. I thought at first that this year's Summer single will be a light-hearted Summer song, so I was a little surprised.

CM: You thought that it would be a single similar to right?

JS: But last year, the song that we released, , was a mid-tempo song~.

--Because last year's release was , so I thought this year's would be a light-hearted Summer single.

YC: bu~~~bu~~~ (imitating a police siren?!) Your expectations are incorrect (laughs). But and are both mature, mid-tempo songs.

YH: It's different from the songs Tohoshinki have sung so far, and the male lead's age is also a little older than that of .

JJ: Although and are both songs about breaking up, if I compare and place myself in the male lead's shoes, the feeling that the female lead in is "too much" is more, as she didn't even say goodbye before she left. To experience this kind of break up, the sadness is doubled I guess.

--But maybe the female lead didn't have a change to say goodbye before leaving?

JJ: But from a man's point of view, no matter what the situation, I would want to know the reason. There are some men who are unable to forget even after the break up - there's that kind of feeling.

JS: Although he really felt like crying, the male lead repressed his feelings and did not cry. It made me feel like it's very real. This male lead is a mature man, no matter how hurt and how sad he is, he does not shed tears.

YC: I think the lyricist, as a man, put these kind of indescribable feelings into the lyrics, as there are some men who no matter how much they miss the other, are not able to verbalise it.

--The part Changmin sings "I can't continue this difficult journey forward holding on to these sad feelings~~", it's trying to say that you hope that the male lead can let it go, even if it's just a little, right?

CM: Yes. Although he won't be able to forget his girlfriend, he can make changes to his emotional state. When we were recording the song, not only did we want to capture the man's heart-broken feelings, but we wanted to capture the change within that as well, so we took extra care when singing.

JS: In order to show the reality of the feelings, we sang it many times.

YH: These kind of lyrics, because of the feelings and the way we sing it, it will make the performance of the song different as well.

JS: It's because the feelings are real, that's why it will move you; singing the lyrics just as if we were speaking it.

CM: That's right, the lyrics are quite realistic. For example, hoping to see her name appear when the phone rings, I'm sure everyone has experienced that in real life.

YH: When you see a back similar to your girlfriend's and it reminds you of her, that's very real too! So, not just for men, but women who have experienced a sad love as well as a break up would be able to understand that feeling too.

JJ: No matter how old we are, this is a song that we can keep singing; that's how real the lyrics are and they also represent a man's heart at the same time. Our experiences in future will also definitely coincide with what the lyrics represent.

YC: If there's a chance, I'd like to sing an "answer song" that shows the female lead's feelings.

CM: That's not a bad idea.

YH: It's a fresh idea, a Tohoshinki break up song that shows the female lead's point of view.

--Before the CD hits the stands, you've performed this during your Live tour. How does it feel to sing this during the Live?

CM: I hope that we can show everyone the true meaning of the lyrics. To be able to show the depth of feelings.

YC: I hope to tell all the women in the Lives that the men they loved in the past could still hold the same feelings, and have not forgotten them.

JJ: For this song, men and women will feel differently towards it. I could tell by seeing everyone's expressions while singing it during the Lives.

YH: On the men's faces, you can see the "Yes! It's that feeling!" expression. Maybe they didn't even realise it themselves.

JS: The females will have the "thinking of the past" expression. Maybe they didn't realise it too. (Laughs)

YH: When singing this song, we would look at everyone's expressions carefully, so everyone, please be careful! (Laughs)

JJ: Actually, for the 5 of us, our expressions change too. As we gradually feel the depth of the lyrics, it's as if we become the male lead, having been dumped... so please look carefully at our expressions too. (Laughs)

YC: The male lead of this song is not just the 5 of us, but also everyone listening to it.

--The second song is as if the male lead in is about to find new love. Finally finding a new relationship, ready to be released from the pain.

JJ: This is a love song full of sweet happiness.

CM: It's a song full of happiness, emulating that which a pair of lovers experience together.

JS: "No matter how much I love you, I'm afraid it's not enough" - This kind of male lead is superb.

--"Your presence makes me strong, yet weak at the same time" - This line is really great!

YC: When we were in our teens we thought there's nothing to be scared of when it comes to love, therefore the teenage us who can't really understand, would not have been able to perform this song.

JJ: As a man, I'm envious of the male lead. Envious that he has someone worthy of loving so much.

JS: When singing this song, the feeling is warm and touching, even the pain slowly fades away...

YC: Isn't that 's lyrics?

JS: Ah, I've been found out? But it's really really really true~~~ It's with this feeling that I seriously sang this song.

CM: Junsu really keeps saying "really".

JS: I really really think this way~~

YC: I hope that this story will one day become .

--If the 2 of them get married and have children, the family will grow...

JS: I hope that these 2 will always be happy!

--Well, lastly, how about everyone share their feelings on being able to stand on the stage of the Tokyo Dome?

JJ: Previously, we appeared as special guests in Koda Kumi's Live at the Dome. Although we only sang one song, we felt really great, and we'll never forget that feeling. If we can feel that way just singing one song, to have our own concert at the Tokyo Dome, the feelings must be even better! I'm really looking forward to it!

CM: As artistes who are trying to grow in Japan, to be able to perform at the Tokyo Dome has been our dream all along. Working so hard for this dream and finally achieving it, we're really happy. To stand and perform on such a huge stage in the Dome, we'll make sure to deliver and not let you down!

JS: If we keep working towards our dreams, never giving up, it will definitely come true. I want to stand on the stage and do my best dancing and singing.

YH: Now, we are full of confidence. We're also considering a new performance, we hope to have a performance that can only be accomplished within the Dome, and hope that through this, everyone can witness Tohoshinki's new charm.

YC: It's such a huge arena, there'll be 50,000 people attending, and I hope to send Tohoshinki's songs to each and every one of them. So, please cheer for us! Let the Tokyo Dome resound with the voices of Tohoshinki and you!

“Unable to leave the blissful past, I’m currently in darkness..”

- This year’s summer song is a slow romantic song.

YC: Mm, although this song does not sound like usual summer pieces, but it does bring about the kind of loneliness you feel on a summer night.

YH: Till now, there are a lot of songs similar to “Sky” and “Summer Dream” that have a carefree summer feeling. Although on the surface, the song “DouNUMBER 2e kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou? (Why did I like you?)” that was released last year and “Stand by You” which will be released this year do not have this carefree feeling but we want to let everyone experience a summer day full of meaning and show everyone that we have matured.

- Instead of using a slow melody, you guys have used a medium tempo to bring out the feelings effectively.

YH: Yeps, the advantages of a medium tempo is that it is able to adequately bring out the feelings in the song, even more matured than the lyrics of “DouNUMBER 2e kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou? (Why did I like you?)”.. It is very suitable for a “Summer Rain” song.

CM: Although “Summer Rain” is not a very dark song however, it does make others feel that there is very little unfocused light.

JJ: Wah! Wah! Changmin-ah! You actually know these kind of feelings? (Eyes Changmin suspiciously)

- If Jaejoong is going to continue being like that, I will explode in laughter. (Laughs)

JS: Eukyangkyang! He is going to start telling the story behind his first kiss again. (Laughs)

YC: Yes! Yes! (Laugh) During one of the performances, Changmin introduced the song and said, “I hope the lyrics can make everyone’s shout can be resonated around the venue!” As Jaejoong was teasing Changmin then, he countered that by saying his first love story (laugh) in order to not lose to Changmin (laugh).

CM: It’s real! (Laugh) It makes me seem like I’m older! (Laugh) Also when I was singing “when the phone rings, how I hope that it would be you, that’s how I live my life everyday~” (T/N: From Stand By U) This part is very real and I believe that a lot of us can imagine this as well. Although the lyrics of the song are descibing about what happens after a break-up, but if you still love that person, you’d still think of the person and would always hope that he/she calls you. As almost everyone has gone through this phase, when I sing this, I would usually be very emotional.

JS: Yeah.. (Sighs) It is indeed a very splendid song.. (Starts singing)

YC: You can feel the time flow and everything that happened through this song. So long as you still love the person, you would have this kind of feeling, no matter the season or time.

JS: The song “Taxi” is a song about loving a girl that is already attached although it uses an “unable to face reality” kind of remorse to perform. However, the song “Stand by You” is a song about the feelings towards a lover who has left and the fact that they are “unable to meet”; it is very sad. That is the difference between the songs.. Ah~ It’s still very sad~. During concerts, I would always feel like crying when I sing these two songs. No matter which song, it shows the hurt that an emotional boy would feel so my heart would always seem like it is being dragged down by sadness..

YC: “The hurt that an emotional boy would feel”.. Junsu.. So cool~~

JJ: I think that the part “Only when I’m beside you would I be able to see the bright light although it is impossible to repeat those happy moments” is the part that hurts most.

JS: Yeah yeah yeah! I think that the part “no matter what happens, no matter what I lose, I will never forget that I loved you once” is the part that hurts most.

CM: Junsu-ah! Jaejoong is answering, please endure abit. (Laughs)

YC: (comforts Junsu) (T/N: OOO, YooSu love much??)

JJ: I feel that the feeling is similar to the case of the male lead being in darkness all the time, unable to see light and that he cannot leave the happy memories behind and in this darkness shows the memories of him and his ex-lover…

CM: The male lead, from my point of view, is one who when reminiscing the past, is determined that he will find hope and continue his life. Although the melody is soft and gentle, but the feeling is similar to that of being in darkness and only able to see a small ray of light.. Just like to black and yellow, it’s that kind of feeling.

YC: I think that the feeling of this song differs from individuals and their current situation. Although sometimes a dark past would appear in my mind, but like the male lead, I would want find the light, a small ray of hope. As I am a very emotional person and cry alot, I can easily cry when just reminiscing a small fragment of a sad memory. The deeper the hurt/cut goes, the heavier the memory is but sometimes I think it’s a blessing.

- Yoochun’s meaning is indeed very deep ^^

JS: (falls into his own world again and starts singing) ah~ ah~ it’s still very sad.

- In the PV, we spot DBSK with black and white suits.. is there any special meaning behind it?

YH: There is actually no particular meaning for the suits. I personally think that one would have gone through alot of different situations. Usually one would want to go on with their life with full concentration but sometimes we stumble onto situations which question on our determination… The filming location of this PV was in a church at Gunma Prefecture and since there are 2 PVs this time (drama version and DBSK version), everyone can take their time and enjoy them.

- The couple tune “Tea for Two” is indeed a song full of happiness and bliss

CM: Mm, yes. I feel that this song is sang by the main lead of “Stand by You” during his happy times in the past.

YC: I think it’s the opposite! “Stand by You” was the past and “Tea for Two” is the present. A couple that broke up realizes that they cannot live without each other and returns together, just like the past, HAPPY ENDING!

YH: I think the same way too!

YC: See~? Love is like that, constantly repeating itself.

JJ: My opinions are rather different from the others.. The male lead in “Stand by You” had never forgotten the past and when he remembers it alone, the song “Tea for Two” plays.. So “Tea for Two” is just like a dream that he had!

- Everyone’s opinions are indeed very meaningful~ So what about you, Junsu? You seem to like songs that give out an “unfulfilled love” kind of meaning, such as “Beautiful You” and “Taxi”. These kinda songs are very naive and suits Junsu. (Laugh)

JS: Does that refer to a lover that would still make food for me to eat? (Laugh) Mm.. not bad not bad (Shy) It is very ideal.

- What if the food isn’t very nice to eat?

JS: Oh~ This is the first time I’m being asked these sort of questions~ (Laugh) Even if it is not very nice, I’d still finish up everything and say that it is very delicious. As compared to taste, the fact that the food was made with a sincere heart makes me happier. Because the song is a very sad and full of hurt, the male lead would still endure the taste of it and finish it up, right?

YH: Yeah. I would also pretend that it is very nice and finish everything and then secretly drink water. (Laugh)

YC: How can it be not nice!! It is made by a person whom you love dearly, of course it would be nice! Even if it is “delicious”, you must still say it out!

JJ: I think so too.

JS: You see, guys are always very kind. However, I think differently from all of you.. I think that “Stand by U”, “Tea for Two” and “Why Did I Like You” tells a story in chronogical order.

YH: “Why Did I Like You”, your lover gets married in the end.. it’s too sad.

JS: On a summer night, if you listened to these 3, one after another, you’d definitely cry. Ah~ Ah~

JJ: Because it’s too sad.. (Laugh)

CM: In the end… it’s still sad..

- In the song “Tea for Two”, the feeling of bliss can be felt just through the vocals. It has a gentle, caring sound to it, and each member sang for quite a long period but it is still very smooth.

YH: Yeah. We usually perform it with a happy and gentle mood~ so that you can hear it just from the vocals. Even before the song, I do feel a kind of happy atmosphere myself.

- The lyricist for the song “Sky” is H.U.B right~ 

YH: Yeah, until now, H.U.B has written alot of songs for us but most of the time H.U.B writes about the little happiness we feel in our daily lives and lyrics that are full with LOVE. This time round, the lyrics have become the real feelings of the male lead.

- In this song the B part (T/N: I think it means B Chord) is being dragged for quite a long time, who sings the low part~?

YC: Me and Yunho.

YH: This part is very hard~ We have to practice extra hard for the LIVE.

JJ: But in order to let everyone enjoy the song and to have a perfect harmony as well as the right atmosphere, we will work hard. There is a lot of meaning in this song, I hope everyone will enjoy it~

Do I need to Find someone new???

let just say it like this.. i think i've move on, it is just that i can't seem to let myself to open up this one cold heart. i do know that i'm so awfully jealous of others who have someone to share their love with, but it couldn't be opened. i have ask myself too many time, whether to have boyfriend or not, and the answer is always the same... NO! why is it this way? why can't i open it and let someone to be in there. at least just for a while.. sometimes i'd wished that i could just open it and finally let myself to be loved, but then it will close itself once again.. am i too sarcastic? am i being so desperate to have a boyfriend??? don't everyone have that kind of feeling or is it just me?? huh ( sigh )